Demonolgy Hamilton AU
by AlexAndYunai
Summary: These are the events of a Hamilton RP I'm in weaved into a proper story. Alexander gives Mulligan the wrong pills for a headache, which triggers an after effect of cancer Mulligan beat when he was 17-coughing up blood. When Mulligan is stabilized Alex sneaks off to the bathroom where he takes the razor from a pencil sharpener and cuts himself. He takes five pills from all his four
1. All My Fault

Lafayette, Hercules, and Alexander sit in the apartment of theirs. Hamilton awkwardly and lonely sits writing in the corner. John went to work, leaving him at home with these two Cheesy assholes. He had been listening to their flirting and wanted to be entertained. So he practically yelled: "I know what Laf wants!!" He climbed on the dining table and jumped down right away. "LEMME SMASH", as you do.

"Alex stop," Herc said, playful but strict.

"I know what he needs! He needs John. Put his picture on a pillow so he can fuck it!" Laf announced. "Shut the fuck up, Laf." Alex barked.

Herc and Laf chuckled and turned to Alex who as furiously writing in an he's raggedy brown notebook. "Whatcha writing? "Laf questioned, the weirdest look plastered on his face. " Nothing!" Alex shrieked, slamming his notebook closed.

"Come on, Alex, you always write like your running out of time, tell us!" They persisted.

Alex sighed, opening his book and reading "Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish that it were in my power, my dear," Alex cleared his throat as censorship. "to tell you that I love you."

The two grown men squealed "Its to John isn't it!!" Alex scratched the back of his head, fussing with his hair. "No! No, it isn't! " He stammered.

A bit too excited, Herc started coughing and grasped his head as he slumped to the floor. "Mon Ami, you okay?" Laf asked, touching Hercs arched back.

"Just a headache..." Herc grumbled.

"Oh! I have something that'll do the trick! " Alex proclaimed. And pulled an unlabeled pill bottle where he gave Herc two white pills on his way to lay down to Lafs room. Alex sat back and thought of what else to write in this letter when he felt his heart dropped. He gave Herc extremely powerful antidepressants hr had gotten from the streets.

He rushed Herc panicky, and screamed "Herc! Are you okay?! How are you feeling?!"

Her and Laf exchanged a confused look, Hercs a bit more tinged with pain. "Yeah?" Herc said in a questioning tone. Alex gulped "I...Gave you the wrong pills..." Both of the others panicked and simultaneously asked: "What'd you give him?!" "My antidepressants... But! You should only feel loopy!" As Laf yelled at Alex Herc became disoriented, chest tight he had an awful coughing fit. He took his hand away from his face- a puddle of blood in his cupped hand. Both Alex and Laf stopped dead and stared at Herc as he choked for breath, falling off the bed he sat on the floor, his area quickly covered in blood.

Alex finally sprung into action, kneeling by Hercs side, who was dizzy and fading. "Laf call 911!" Alex screamed, turning Herc to his side and wiping away the blood off his face.

Laf stumbled with his phone, but after five minutes hung up "They are on the way! Keep him awake!!" Alex screamed and shook Herc.

~~~~~~~

The ambulance took them away, it took three hours to get him stable and awake. They sent in tests to the lab in efforts see why this happened.

Alex scribbled down "Bless the man who not knoweth of his accomplishments and good deeds but only of his failures and reckless deeds" on the bottom of an extremely long note to his friends.

He looked up at Laf who playing with Hercs hair, looking lovingly at him.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna go to the restroom... Okay?" Alex said, closing the notebook, which had the beginning of his note bookmarked with a slim piece of paper that said 'Read Me!' On the top.

"Don't be too long!" Herc chimed like the cool breeze of a warm summers day. Alex was confused as to why he almost had killed that man. Why was he so kind to him?

He stepped out of room 9-25 of the Lung and Heart department. I dialled (282)827-1028.

Ring...

Ring...

Ring...

Ring...

"Alex? What's up? I'm at work..."

"John... You need to come to Independence North." You could almost hear Johns heart crack and drop to his stomach through the phone.

"Wha-what? What happened?!"

"I have Herc the wrong meds for his headache and he started coughing up blood. He's stable now, but you need to get your ass over here."

"I'm glad he's okay, but are you okay?"

"Honestly John? No, just get here."

"It's not your fault.."

"Yes, it is, just gets over here." Alex hung up before John could say any more. He felt a lump in his throat and tears clawing at his eyes, so he hurried to the bathroom, slammed the door shut, slid down the door to the floor, and released all the emotions he held close to his chest.

"Its all your fault."

He took the pencil sharpener from his hoodie pocket.

"You did this to him."

He unscrewed the small screw with his fingernail.

"Now you can see what it feels like."

He wrapped red ribbons around his wrists.

"Feels good, huh? You sadistic fuck."

His soft, gentle, sobs grew louder along with that damn demon.

"You should get rid of those pills before they can hurt some else."

He stood up and he took the four bottles out of his hoodie pocket. He opened them.

"You should get rid of you too. Before you can hurt anyone else."

He took five pills from each bottle and swallow them all in one go and flushed the rest.

He sat down, his back against the wall. He helplessly sings "Kill me now, I want to die. I heard there's a chance at an afterlife but don't think I'd be let in. But at least I won't be living. Here I am sandwiched between Heaven and Hell, oh what? They don't exist? Oh well, I wouldn't have gotten into the good one, but at least I won't be living to see him die and blame myself, oh that really really really really wasn't my plan of how I would die: suicide. But I'm begging heart to finally stop"

It was a cute but cruel song about a broken-hearted boy but Alex changed the lyrics a bit. He did this a lot and off the top of his head.

He wiped his face when he remembered Herc telling him not to be too long. I made his way down the hallway to Hercs room. He knocked before entering any two curious faces melted to worried and compassionate looks.

"Oh, Aly... You've been crying... Come here." Herc stretched out his arms, welcoming Alex. I'm response Alex looked at the floor beside him and rubbed his wrist against his leg. "I don't think you want the man who just almost killed you to touch you."

"Mon Ami... Don't be like that..." Laf tried to grab Alex's arm, but Alex moves so he can't.

Herc looked at Alex and affirmed him "It's not your fault". And despite Alex's refusal, he grabbed him in a hug, only squeezing tighter when Alex struggled.

Alex shook as he tried o swallow a sob down before he choked out " Herc I did something bad..."

"What'd you do?"

Alec stepped back, pulled out his empty pill bottles, rolled up his sleeves and showed them to his beloved friends. "Threw most the pills away..."

"Aly!" Herc cried, grabbing Alex once again and pulling him close. Herc started sobbing.

"Mon ami... Why would you this?"

Alex cried out "Because it's my fault this happened, I hate myself, I deserve to die, and I want to!"

"Aly..." Herc sobbed harder. "It's not your fault and you don't deserve to die!!"

Laf held one of Alex's hands that were wrapped around Hercs torso to examine his wrist.

"Oh, you need to get a doctor..."

Alex nodded and added between small sobs "Y-you know w-when I said I threw away most of the pills?"

"You didn't..." Herc gasped.

"I took five from each pill bottle... But being here with you makes me realize..." He was getting even more emotional "I don't wanna die... I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!! I don't wanna die! I wanna live! I want life!" He hysterically cried.

"Don't worry... You wont... I promise..."


	2. Red Ribbons

A nurse quick came and directed Alex to another room where his empty stomach was pumped, he got a saline IV to clean out any medicine in his system, force-fed a protein-packed meal, three of his cuts were stitched up, and he fell asleep.

 _He woke up in a green meadow, with a pastel pink sky that glazed across the brilliant, yellow dandelions. He tried to stand up but found himself too weak to do so. He sat on his knees, and looked around him, seeing a woman emerge from behind a tree on a hill aways away from him. She noticed him staring, so he looked away. But there was really nothing to look at, so he glanced back to see her standing in front of him._ _Her pick tinted, white dress, along wither glorious locks of brown hair flowed in the wind. Alex fumbled with his tongue "M-mom?"_

 _She kneeled to meet his eyes, her deep blue eyes saw right through his muddy brown eyes and their mask. She grabs his wrist, gripping it hard enough to show that trying to tug away would do no good._ S _he rolled up his sleeves and counted the scars, with everyone a bruise or cut appeared on her. Alex begged "Mom, please stop!" her lips moved, but nothing was too be heard._ _Once she was done, she had over 15 cuts on her. She stood up and spoke to his heart "Every cut you inflict on yourself, you inflict it on me, too. " He nodded, his tears drying up._

 _The pink sky bled dark red, as fire consumed the meadow, and his mother disincarnated into ashes before his eyes._

He jolted awake, sat up, grasping and grabbing the air.

"Mon Ami! You're awake!" Lafayette had sat next to Alex once Herc went to sleep. Alex hugged his knees. "You were talking in your sleep about your mom? Asking her to stop?" Alex looked at him and thoroughly explained the vision, which ended in Laf hugging him as Alex sobbed into his chest. Just as he was calming down, his phone started ringing- it was John. Alex sighed and picked up his phone, swiping the green circle.

"H-hello?"

"Alex! I'm here! What room are you guys in, lovely?"

"Uhm... 1-11."

"Okay! I'm on my way!" Before Alex could even warn him, John hung up. The room was filled with a stale, thick silence until there was a knock at the door.

Knock knock knock knock! Laf got up to answer it- the door creaking open like the hinges' joints were rusted. "Salute!" Laf masked his concern and fear in him with a smile. It was not effective. John smiled and peered behind Laf and his happy but fearful expression melted like the wax of a candle into pure concern and confusion.

"Lexi...? Wha-what's going on? I thought Herc was the one who was hurt..." He cautiously entered the room and sat on the end of the bed; keeping his eyes on his love who refused to look at him.

Laf left the room, winking at Alex "Good luck."

"John... It's... It is not easy to say this, but..." Alex kept his eyes on his hands that fidgeted with the blanket on him. He didn't want to see his loves broken hearted face. "Yes?" John eagerly dreaded the thought to finish.

Alex took a deep breath, gathered the courage and said: "I tried to commit suicide..." Johns world shattered in front of him, all he could do is cup Alex's cheeks and cry "Lexi... Lexi, why? Why did you do this? Why, Lexi, why?" Alex shook as he looked into John's glossy green eyes that overflowed with tears,

"Because John... I-I almost killed Herc!" John shook his head, pulling his love close "No, no you didn't! It was an accident!"

"It doesn't matter!" Alex pushed John off. John cried as he saw Alex's wrists and the bandages. A thick silence that was filled with soft sobbing loomed over the two as they were at a loss for words... Alex's head was spinning.

 _ **You're not good enough**_ **.**

 _ **He hates you**_ _._

 _ **I don't blame him.**_

 _ **Look at you, fatty.**_

 _ **God, you should have ended it right then and there.**_

 _ **You're such a burden.**_

 _ **End it.**_

 _ **Do it.**_

He cried and sobbed. These voices were right. He wasn't enough. He was fat, ugly, unworthy.

His thoughts were abruptly ended by a flustered Herc bursting through the door.

"HOLY SHIT ALEX!" He screamed, making Alex and Johns weary and teary faces lift up to him.

"What?!" Alex snapped, Herc rushed up to Alex, too excited to snap back like he normally does.

"Laf told me all about the dream you had!" Herc excited told Alex who noticed that Herc was hiding something behind his back in his hand. "And I had the same one! But in third person!"

Alex rolled his eyes, trying to seem like he didn't care and believe it, but his eyes sparked of curiosity. John sat there, confused

"And," Herc continued "I woke up with this on!" he whipped his hand from behind his back displaying a fake, gold locket, which Alex quickly grabbed from him.

He opened it. And there were his mother's ashes. "This-This was destroyed in the hurricane..."

 **Happy New Years and Valentine's Day :)**


	3. Mrs Rachel Hamilton

"This-this was destroyed in the hurricane..." Lex choked out. John and Herc stared at him with confusion and wonder.

"Wha-how?" John breathed.

"I... I don't know..."

Herc soft softly and flat "She says she saved it."

"Who's 'she'?" Alex asked, looking up from the locket.

"Rachel. I'm unsure of who that is, but she's very kind."

"Ra-Rachel? That's-that's not possible!" Alex's breathing quickened and he tightened his grip on the locket.

"Lexi... Who's Rachel?"

"She-shes... She's my mom!" he spit out between hollow, unfulfilling breaths.

Herc nodded, not seeming as shocked as the other two. "I thought so. She's uh... She's told me things, haha!"

"Uhm... Like what?"

Herc laughed, and soon gained his composure. "She told me all about how much of a tiny homo you were!"

Alex turned John and John chuckled, a bit confused "What did he do?"

Herc choked on laughter "He would go up to grown men, teenage boys, and other young boys and hit on them! He did this with girls too but it was way more awkward! Haha!"

John looked at Alex who had his face tucked away in his arms. "Awww..." John cooed "I can imagine a tiny, little Alex hitting on everyone~"

Herc laughed "Imagine it! Alex, little and innocent going up to grown men, probably talking about things he has no idea about!"

"Hey," Alex whined "It wasn't that bad!"

"Because calling some a chicken because they're 'impeccable' isn't that bad."

"PFT-HAHAHA! OHMYGOD-DID YOU REALLY?"John exploded in laughter, Alex nodded in response, making John laugh even more.

Alex was both flustered and utterly shocked. What? How come his mother was here? How? How was this even possible?!

"She's here to help you. She can only attach herself to spirit-sensitive people, which I happen to be." Herc spoke, again in monotone. Alex stopped

"I-I was... How? How did you do that?"

"Your mom!" Herc playfully said.

Alex rolled his eyes "Okay, but really, how?"

"Your mom can hear what you're thinking."

"Ohhhh... Okay..." Alex said, then decided to prove this theory

"Alex! No! Gross! Ho my goodness-" Herc yelped. Alex still wasn't convinced. The Herc whispered "...Did you at least use protection?" Alex choked on his own throat. She can hear his thoughts and he felt horrible for think about such sin.

"What? What did you think about?" John asked frantically.

"Mariocart." Alex winked. 'Mariocart' was both a code word and a reference. You see, when they first met Alex invited John over to play "a game". It was literally Mariocart. Alex fell oh John's lap, and then they fucked. So, now 'Mariocart' is code for 'sex'. They used it mostly to say "You wanna play Mariocart?" as to say "Sex?"

John turned red "Lexi! You didn't!" Alex nodded.

In the mix of Hercs coughing-up-blood inducing laughter, Johns mumbling, and Alex's nervous chuckling a nurse came in.

"Uhm... Hey, Mr Mulligan? You have to get some rest now." The small figured woman chirped.

Herc nodded, waved goodbye with a wink and left.

"And Mr Hamilton? You really should eat something."

"Oh, Nah, I'm not hungry."

 _Phew, I thought you were going to eat. You don't need any more weight_


	4. Boîte en bois, blanc

The nurse tried to convince Alex to eat something, but Alex, backed by the voices, persistently refused.

"Why won't you eat, Lexi?" John asked, innocently.

Alex knew he should tell John of his struggles, but he just smiled and lied. "Just not hungry, that's all..."

John nodded, not really believing him. They soon retreated to the small hospital bed, cuddling until they were asleep.

John dreamt of eating pastel coloured macaroons on soft clouds

Alex dreamt of disorder screams and a hellish presence.

They were awoken by Herc excitedly bursting through the door...again.

"GUYS-ALEX!" Herc yelled, alerting both John and Alex.

"Gah-mmmm, what?" Alex groaned, sitting up, leaving his partner's arms.

"Come with me!" Herc practically yanked Alex away and rushed to his own room, Alex in hand.

"Mmmm... Herc? What's going on?" Alex asked, his voice panged with tiredness and a whine.

"Just you wait, Alex!" Herc let go of Alex's hand he held on the way here and went behind the bed. He pushed out a white, wooden box. Alex's curiosity peaked, aking him up all the way.

"Open it!" Herc clapped his hands as if this was a gift he had gotten for Alex. He popped open the top to find various items from is past and childhood. Nostalgia filled his senses as he pulled out old clothes, leafed through notebooks, and laughed. Then he reached the bottom where a single piece of a newspaper-the poem that changed everything. The one that caught people's attention, that moved them to move for the small orphan to come to America.

"Pick a few things, the box'll disappear," Herc said a bit more calmed down.

Alex was confused, but pick a raggy, brown leather notebook, the newspaper clip, and a purple, satin dress that his mother had died in. It still smelled of her fragrance: Fresh-cut preaches and roses with creme. Herc put the box back before him and John watched Alex flip through his notebook, the Heavens soon took the box away.

Alex smiled and read about his childhood pain, laughing a bit. Not purely at the pain, but how innocent and simple it was. He was mourning is passed family.

Now he missed his past self. His innocence and his childhood. He smiled, putting the book and dress on the counter by the sink. He went back into John's arms, letting go of the tension he held before.

Herc sighed, pitifully as he looked at Alex's stitched up cuts. He knew that nothing was really wrong with Alex-he didn't have anxiety, he didn't have depression, hell, he didn't even have anorexia. What he did have? Libitina. Libitina was one hell of a demon. She was what some demonologists called "Satan's right-hand gal". And she attached herself to Alex.

Herc had known this, from the moment Alex came in with the cuts yesterday. He knew for sure then. He had a feeling when he saw Alex grew increasingly skinny but refuse food. When Alex would get overwhelmed if more then two things were going on at once. How he wouldn't respond to or hear people around him.

Libitina had Alex on the puppet strings of her little game. Alex was so capable, and she knew that. She knew it. Why else would she attack him?

Herc left to rest-It was time to end this fucking bitch.

~.:.:.:Your courage was a small coal that you kept swallowing:.:.:.~

-Anna Sexton


	5. Hell's hot for good reason

p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="b9895c018ca32250aeee09902882512b"After sleeping for over 3 hours, Herc gathered himself and headed to Alex's room with his cross pendant in a small bag with bottles. He knocked and entered when John's soft, sweet voice rang out to tell him to come on in. Herc closed the door and had this deminer that made Alex shift so he was sitting up straight./p  
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p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="fa7c9235e196844bab1e1c4ff9eeaab5""Do you even know where you'd be if I wasn't here?"/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="c1919612b926d83f4d9a389275b968d6""Alive? Happy? Actually okay?!"/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="556811739da3cbfbe734f5f9b417a1fc""Hahaha, how cute. You'd be even fatter, even more unloved, even more unworthy. You know what I'm talking about. They all left with a reason, didn't they?"/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="3742993fcfacc1372baac0b4bd21809f"Alex stayed silent. She was right. Everyone, his dad, his mom, his brother, his cousin... They all left with a reason-to get away from him./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="512127c2b6bd657ecb9136df9a4144a2""That's what I thought." She took his wrists, holding them tightly, her fire-hot hands burning his scars. He tried to pull away, but that only made the temperature rise. Her true form was soon shown- a foggy shadow that engulfed Alex and dragged him into a tar pit. It was lava hot but only got hotter with more struggling and tears./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="b5f500479aea9f15680b87bc259b55b1"Meanwhile, John opened his eyes to see a black abyss with nothing but a dark blue door, which he walked through to see Alex. Alex screamed in pain, which was soon muffled by Libitina's hand. He cried helplessly as his skin sizzled. John moved forward but was met with glass. Het hit it forcefully/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="8eb8e4c1b275bb2a2b2a0fc7d9b0bf36""Alex!" He cried. Alex looked up at him and cried harder. John's heart broke. He slammed on the glass until it cracked, then body-slammed into it, sending him into the tar as well. It didn't burn like it did to Alex, it was actually quite cool, but grew warmer the closer to Alex John got. He threw the cooler tar on Alex, trying to cool him down./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="aff1bbaa23976be8d12e2b38420c41a5""My my if it isn't John the beloved." Libitina chucked, "Why are you here trying to save this worthless good-for-nothing?" Alex sobbed harder at her words./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="49821beaece4fe8fb3d8ef90caaad075""He isn't worthless, you are!" John screeched. She laughed at his childish answer. John tried to grab Alex out of her grasp but was only burnt. He kept trying, each time worse than the last./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="bd84f203900d268ed7b87d40ba2d53dc""Well, if you're going to try that hard you can have him back." She spat Alex out, throwing him out, he landed right behind John, on the hard, black-top ground./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="23667a0240d9dcd12fe3e022215dc595"He retrieved Alex, who was either black and bloody or had bone exposed./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="7f47cc6bd6ddee163a095034457bb93d""Shhhh, love, it'll be okay..." John held Alex, who was half dead./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d0a9abccc5e661213c25daa1c2beb431"Libitina went back to her human form and stood by them./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a4eb1f639e12b73a78045aed8a138544""He's only going to hurt you, Jonny Boy."/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d304f5ddac2ceae5a13ac563ff7b3dc9""He won't. He couldn't."/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a776ac9d7f477a90dcf279f22893dfda""Oh, he could, He will."/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="7f3736d8f6cac3a3d4f1d104827206b5""Why do you say this?"/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="83f47c50a3be6b6d6c93837c1037d5bb""He has in the past. His dad left his pathetic ass, his mom wrongfully chose his life over hers, he didn't help his cousin before it was too late, and he watched everyone die. It's his fault."/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d93c64ddcf4978741d764406b9c66ae2"Alex grew more and more tense with her words until he sprung up and grabbed her by the collar./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="eae46ce46c0b0f33c3e1dfab9d0f2b9c""Oo! Whatcha gonna do, Aly?" She teased. He threw her down, head first. He got on his knees above her and picked her collar up again./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="4e185ee264e5c3092ee415593e913bb4""Oh, so the kitten does have claws..." She smiled./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="234d3f91a029107a2e654377c7db4db4""Shut up..." He tensed up/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="7565c175731f7d264cf6591704fa6e93""Or what? You'll kill me like the others?'/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="358784c565da002000bcade86d9ca82b""Shut up...!"/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="ee30133a04ffcc42ee693cfe25de3f38""Aw, too much of a pussy? Pathetic! No wonder he doesn't really love you!"/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="235d5c2dcf37f65d17bf1ba92c88d5c6""SHUT UP!" He slammed her head down repeatedly, repeating his words.'/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="3af0c7a5df54c0a60d17263eebe399e5""I didn't hurt them!" Slam./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="564dcd741bb1722fcb9fbedb4aa8d655""I didn't do anything!" Slam./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="defba75709c7d7f1db7035b85d94be75""I hate you!" Slam./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="4c0e7592bfd53217adaed0b7e8656224""You destroyed me!" Her head was practically mush and blood./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="42cff1e64de81690907b8684ce81190f""And I didn't hurt him... YOU DID!" He slammed her head down hard- she was past dead./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="f5d8a8f58490f1684a3f4fae98ac8105"John sat there, not sure if he should feel scared, turned on, or both./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="4a6a8aa6f4fad326bf61616b7bbafb63""I... I killed her..." Alex stared at his blood covered hands that were shaking./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="eb9ed167671277b6014795e44961dbc2""Baby..." John hugged Alex, who melted to the touch./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="33a59afd16a6a41e94f2cb98a1182f1e""And... wake up!" Herc yelled and clapped once. Both boys snapped awake./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="3d7703f257d2852164c9d7ca0284f296""Ah!" Alex shot up, breathing heavy. John jumped awake and sat up./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="30d86dbbf987b74f8559bea25c5e2b29""So what happened?" Herc said, knowing she was gone./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="8fff7fec2f45f78494ac7b8cb2ee27c9""I...I..." Alex studdered "I killed her."/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a8efc7e01027cb83fc7fbbcbf0e49c3e"Herc nodded and smiled "Good. Can you hear her anymore?" Alex sat and listened, then shook his head./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="f7001a9c69e1c2f585928f8df3895663""Then my work here is done." Herc stood up. "Your mom is now leaving me, she loves you, Alex, She really does. Now, you must eat and rest."/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="c9e247426ce11b81dad10e8836e9fc4e"Alex opened his mouth to protest, then realized there's no point. He nodded and Herc left./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="667b57f3404dff4615c583c5fe3d1460"Alex and John were both shaken, scared and relieved./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="776969f1560e3edfc8ace44ee284c723""She's gone..." John sighed and leaned on Alex./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="c83501e4f08ba1998dced9a36de60d0c"Soon a nurse came in with some protein-packed eggs and toast, putting it in front of Alex on the bed-table/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="4f32b6a7348f54aecc496164d3bb2028""Come on dear," the blonde girl spoke, sitting in front of him, "If you don't eat we'll have to tube ya'."/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="de60e5f7c84ac2819757ead1b05cecdb"Alex looked at her with pleading eyes, which were met with no mercy. He looked at John with an even more desperate look./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="ae1112ca414341cbdd83eb1caecfe815""Please eat..." John scooted the plate closer to Alex. He sighed and took a bite, harshing swallowing./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="56f8c4a327033c57a6d6156c01e77d78"He did it./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="da2e55b5dbcc395bcd84bb6ee62d5f5e"He was eating../p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="d41d8cd98f00b204e9800998ecf8427e" /p 


	6. That would be enough

After a week of eating, putting on weight, and a stable mood, Alex was sent home. He happily left the hospital at nine o'clock PM, after saying goodbye to Herc. The taxi pulled up and brought John and Alex home.

Alex walked up to the door of their apartment and opened it. The smell of John, berries, and waffles filled the air. Alex sighed, rushing to their bed room and plopping on the bed, rolling around in the sheets.

"You dork…" John sat beside Alex.

"Heyyy… You're a dork…" Alex playfully whined

"Well, if I'm a dork, you're a nerd…" John leaned over Alex, their noses touching.

"Sounds right." Alex gave him an Eskimo Kiss before John rolled beside him. They snuggled together, slowly falling asleep, dreaming of nothing in pedicellar.

Alex woke up to John's sleeping face, almost completely covered buy his hair. He brushed his hair away, gently touching his face, waking him up."

"Mmmm… Hey…" John croaked.

"Hey, pretty boy."

John giggled, "Oh my God, it's too early for your gay ass." John playfully shoved Alex.

Alex pulled him into a hug "You know you love me…"

"Or do I?"

"Mhmmm…. I don't know…" Alex sat up, followed by John. They looked at the blank wall.

"I do…" John fell on his shoulder.

"Would you marry me?"

"Of course…" John took Alex's hands. They sat in a comfy silence before they realized…

"Did… Did I just… propose?" Alex looked at John.

"I… I think so…" John nodded.

"And you accepted?"

"Yes, I did…"

"Are… are we engaged now?"

"I… I think so…."

"Woah…"

They sat there, not know what to do…

"Do… Do you want to celebrate?"

"Yes! But…."

"But?"

"I don't feel right being engaged to you with without telling you something…"

"What is it?"

John took a breath. "When I came out as gay to my father, my dad kicked me out after my mom died. I… I didn't know what to do… I had to get by, for my little brother and sister, who was left with me…. So I-I prostituted myself… I… I stripped… I gave myself away… I… John was sobbing at this point, hugging himself. Alex was too shocked that his little angel had done this too himself too know what to do. He watched John helplessly sob for a few moments before shoving John's arm off his body and holding him. John sobbed into his chest and stammered "A-and I just felt so worthless! I binged and purged… That's why I felt so scared when I found out you were starving yourself!"

Alex softened even more as his now fiancé confessed this. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

"For what?" John was finally calming down

"For starving myself! For hurting you…"

"It's okay…"

"No, it's not! I… I hurt you!"

"Alex, I told you, it's fine. You're getting better, that's all there is to it."

"But what if I relapse?"

"Then we get help. But, Lexi? Please, please don't."

"I can try."

"That would be enough," John sighed. "Don't you want to be here for our kids? If we have any…"

Alex spoke ever so softly. "I want to be here for Philip…"

"Philip?...Is that what you want to name our child?"

Alex turned red, he didn't think John could hear him… "U-uhm… Yes…"

"Philip… I like it."

"How many kids do you want?"

"Two, maybe three…"

"Sounds absolutely perfect…"

John giggled, "How about we go celebrate?"

Alex nodded, jumping up, throwing black jeans and his pink, purple, and blue sweater on.

John did the same, putting his rainbow sweater on and blue jeans. Alex took John out of the door, and down the road to a small park. It was beautiful, small, blue ponds sat at the feet of weeping willow trees. Small turtles, frogs, rabbits, and other small animals roamed free. Of course, John was more than ecstatic to watch the small, box turtles swim and walk around in the brilliantly green soft grass.

They sat under the curtain of a weeping willow tree by the pond, Alex got up to check they were alone in this park.

"What are you doing?" John said, carefully picking up a turtle that rubbed his hand to say hello.

"Making sure we're alone."

John nodded as Alex sat back down beside him.

"John?"

"Yes, lovely?"

"Why did you stay here with my sorry ass?''

"Because I love you…"

"But… I'm not good enough for you.."

"Alex…" John took Alex's hand "You are more than enough. You are marvelous. You are beautiful. I am so happy to soon call you my husband."

Alex coked on a sob as John continued "Alex? Can you promise me you won't ever leave until you're old?"

Alex held John's face and nodded. "Mark this moment as the first chapter where I'll deicide to stay… Would that be enough?"

"Yeah, that would be enough…"

"I hope I'll be enough…"

Alex softly kissed John, and John hungrily kissed back, his hand wandering up Alex's shirt as his mouth opened for him.

Thank God no one else was here


End file.
